Sally Rallies

Photo by Nelson Ndongala on Unsplash

Why do ‘they’ put ‘us’ through this?

sally-rally: an assembly of plotters urging each other and being urged to take action though the consequences remain unclear, hence a form of political dissembling and expansion of space for violence and chaos.

Dear Reader/listener,

As the 2022 mid-term election smoke clears and vote tallies are reported, we review the sally-rally taxonomy.

Here’s what to expect. Gird your ears.

The Ted Cruz model

With an eye on 2024 and party leadership, deliver bombast and blather, identifying evil forces where none exist. Summon the ghost of Spiro Agnew.

The Trump Model

With an eye on 2024 and party leadership, claim you are the sole victim and savant. Look ‘Presidential.’ You can do it, ‘everyone knows,’ you’re a con artist. Curry favor and funds with offshore bank accounts.

The Lindsey Graham Model

With an eye on 2024 and party leadership, claim familiarity with the dark side, issuing prophecies with an undertone of hysteria and doomsaying. ‘It could be worse.’ Repeat.

The Jim Jordan Model

With an eye on 2024 and party leadership, start multiple faux investigations into ‘you name it.’ Try Hunter Biden for the fourth time. Claim innocence with your hand in the dynamite satchel. Rattle papers: who brought the matches?

The Ron De Santis Model

With an eye on 2024 and party leadership, employ your take-out menu of culture war issues, e.g. jail librarians and felons falsely accused of violating voting restrictions. Generally speaking, espouse cruelty and disdain of due process.

The Mitch McConnell model

With an eye on 2024 and party leadership, in a word, instruct: ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’ Look adult. The kids are not ‘quality candidates.’ You know: your state is one of the most gerrymandered in the nation.

Respectfully.

November 18

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