Mr. Paine Weighs In
If I had a’ paintbrush…I’d have a First Amendment.
The following communique from the desk of Thomas Paine, Esq., was leaked to the press via Twitter on December 5, 2022, AD. following the first day of the Supreme Court discussion in the case of Colorado v. Smith. (1)
Editor’s note: The communique has been transcribed from the original quill pen version; ink blots removed. Apparently, Mr. Paine was somewhat agitated while writing the original document. We are deeply indebted to the patriotism of the National Archives staffer, #originalistwonk, for allowing the public access to this significant missive.
(from the desk of Thomas Paine, Esq. addressed to Lois Smith)
Madam,
Regarding your comment of a fortnight, clarifying your defense, to wit:
When I chose to start my business as an artist to create custom expression, I did not surrender my first amendment rights…
and
If I continue creating for weddings consistent with my beliefs, the state of Colorado intends to fully come after me… Rather than wait to be punished, I decided to take a stand to protect my First Amendment rights. I shouldn’t have to be punished before I challenge an unjust law.
I am offended at your drumming up the Creator in your defense of a religious “space” to wit “beliefs,” guiding your digital prognostications, what you call a ‘web site design business.’
Man is free to be enchained, by your logic, so why invoke the Creator in this crusade against the ‘rights of man,’ sic.?
May I remind you Madam, you chose to design web sites; your ‘Creator,’ the sum of your religious incantations of same, did not. Further, to reveal your talents, transacting with the public, value of same, for a price does not entitle you to proclaim from the rooftops convictions that would make a seven-year-old Sunday School student blush.
The good news is the Creator doesn’t give a fig for your ‘beliefs.’ May I remind you, Madam, that like kindred souls brought forward to people this globe, you are free to partake of Creator worship on your time, not your species.
Please avert this silliness.
Obscurantism is not your calling.
Last I looked, the First Amendment, which I had a hand in drafting, addressed freedoms that could be taken away, not freedoms you are born with.
Yours respectfully,
Thomas Paine, esq.
New Rochelle, New York, December 5, 2022
Notes
1-Judges Face A New Clash of Faith and Gay Rights,” Adam Liptak, New York Times, December 5
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